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(IVviiiitoei- 336.) 



A CLOUD 



IN THE HONEYMOON, 



A Comic Sketch, 



IN ONE ACT. 



TOGETHER WITH 



A Description of the Costumes — Cast of tlie Clianicters — Eiitnmces 

and Exits — Relative Positions of tlie Performers on tlie 

Stas<e — and tlie whole of the Staire Business. 




DE WITT. PUBLISHER, 



No. :i3 Hosf Street. 




NOW 
READY 



( m' h 

J PLAYS, A 
J Plots, Cos 
f tion, mail 



COMPLETE DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUE OF DE WIH'S ACTING 
AND DE WITT'S ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DRAMAS, containii^ 
tume. Scenery, Time of Representation, and every other informa- 
mailed frei^ and post-paid. 



DE ^\"ITT'S 



ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DPiAMA. 



Nothiug so thorough and complete in the way of Ethiopian and Comic Dramas has ever 
been printed as those that appear in the following list. Nut only are the plots excellent, the 
characters droll, the incidents funny, the language humorous, but all the situations, by.play. 
positions, ijautonumic business, scenery, and tricks are so plainly set down and clearly 
explained that the merest novice could put any of them on the stage. Included iu this 
Catalogue are all the most laughable and effective pieces of their class ever produced. 

*:f,* In ordering jilease copj" the figures at the commencement of each iiiece, which 
indicate the number of the piece iu " De Witt's Ethiopian and Comic Dkama." 

J8tg=- Any of the following Plays sent, postage free, ou receipt of price — Fifteen Cents 
each. 

JOfg" The figure following the name of the Play denotes the number of Acts. The 
figures iu the columns indicate the number of characters — II. male; F. female. 



73, 
107, 

113. 
i:W. 

43. 

42. 

7tf. 

40. 
6. 

10 

11. 

lie. 



126. 
127, 
128, 



112, 

41. 
144, 

140. 
12 
53, 
63 

131 



M. F. 
-Absent Minded, Ethiopian farce, 1 

a.t 3 1 

African Box, burlesque, 2 scenes ... 5 
Afrioauus Bluebeard, musical Ethi- 
opian burlesque, 1 scene 6 2 

Ambition, farce, 2 scenes 7 

.Awful Plot (An) Ethiopian farce, la. 3 1 
Baby Elephant, sketch, 2 scenes.. . . 7 1 
Bad' Whiskey, Irish sketch, 1 scene. 2 1 
Barney's Courtship, musical inter- 
lude, lact 1 2 

Big Mistake, sketch, 1 scene 4 

Black Chap from Whitechapel, Ne- 
gro piece 4 

Black Chemist, sketch, 1 scene *> 

Black-Ey'd William, sketch, 2 scenes 4 1 
Black Forrest (The), Ethiopian farce, 

1 act 2 

Black Magician (De), Ethiopian com- 
icality 4 

Black Statue (The). Negro farce 4 

Blinks and Jinks, Ethiopian sketch. 3 
Boboliuo, the Black Bandit, Ethio- 
pian musical farce, 1 act 2 

Body Snatchers (The), Negro sketch, 

2 scenes 3 

Bogus Indian, sketch, 4 scenes 5 

Bogus Talking Machine (The), farce, 

1 scene 4 

Bruised and Cure.l, .sketch, 1 scene. 2 
Charge of the Hash Brigade, comic 

Irish musical sketch 2 

Christmas Eve iu the South, Ethio- 
pian farce, 1 act 6 

Coal Heaver's Revenge,Negro sketch, 

1 scene 6 

Coming Man (The), Ethiopian sketch. 

2 scenes , 3 

Cremation, sketch, 2 scenes 8 

Crowded Hotel (The), sketch, 1 sc. 4 

Cupid's Frolics, sketch, 1 scene .5 

Daguerreotypes, sketch, 1 scene .... 3 
Damon and Pythias, burlesque, 2 sc. 5 
Darkey's Stratagem, sketcli, 1 scene 3 
Darkey Sleep Walker (The), Ethio- 
pian sketch, 1 scene 3 





51 


1 


152 


2 


106 


0| 




1 


83 




77 


1 






n 


1 


58 


2 


31 




20 




82 




130. 





86. 




70. 


2 


61. 




142. 




23. 


1 


118. 


1 




1 


3. 


1 


48. 




68. 


1 


150. 


1 


71 




123 


1 





Deaf as a Post, Ethiopian sketch 2 

Deeds of Darkness, Ethiopian e:t- 

travaganza, 1 act 6 1 

Desperate Situation (A), farce, 1 sc. 5 2 

Draft (The), sketch, 2 scenes 6 

Dutchman's Ghost, 1 scene 4 1 

Dutch Justice, laughable sketch, 

1 scene H 

Editor's Troubles, farce, 1 scene.. . 6 

Eh ? What is it ? sketch 4 1 

Election Day, Ethiopian farce, 2 so. 6 1 
Elopement (The), farce. 2 scenes. . . 4 1 

Excise Trials, sketch, 1 scene 10 1 

Fellow that Looks like Me, inter- 
lude, 1 scene 2 1 

First Night (L'lie i, Dutch farce, 1 act 4 2 
Fisherman's Luck, sketch, 1 scene. 2 
Fun in a Cooper's Shop, Ethiopian 

sketch 6 

Gambrinus, King of Lager Beer, 

Ethiopian burlesque, 2 scenes. .. . 8 1 
German Emigrant (The), sketch, Isc. 2 2 
Getting Square on the Call Boy, 

sketch, 1 scene 3 

Ghost (The). Sketch, 1 act 2 

Ghost iu a Pawn Shop, sketch. 1 sc. 4 

Glycerine Oil, sketch, 2 scenes 3 

Going for the Cup. interlude 4 

Good Night's Best, sketch, 1 scene. 3 
Go and get Tight, Ethiopian sketch, 

1 scene 6 

Gripsack, sketch, 1 scene 3 

Guide to the Stage, sketch 3 

Happy Couple. 1 scene 2 1 

Happy Uncle Bufus, Ethiopian mu- 
sical sketch, 1 scene 1 1 

Hard Times, extravaganza. 1 scene. 5 1 
Helen's Funny Babies, burlesque. 

1 act 6 

Hemmed In. sketch 3 1 

High Jack, the Heeler, sketch, 1 so. 6 

Hippotheatron, sketch 9 

How to Pay tlie Rent, fiircp, 1 scene 6 

In and Out, sketch. 1 sceiip 2 

Intelligence Office (The), Ethiopian 
sketch, 1 scene 2 1 



A CLOUD IN THE HONEYMOON. 

A COMIC SKETCH, 



IN ONE ACT. 



BY 



J. PALGRAVE SIMPSON. 



TOGKTHER WITH 
A. DESCKIPTION OF THE COSTUMES— CAST OF THE CHABACTERS— 

ENTBANCES AND EXITS BELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE 

PEEFOBMEBS ON THE STAGE, AND THE WHOLE OF 
THE STAGE BUSINESS. 



JAN 22 tens^ '' 



NEW YOEK: 

DE WITT, PUBLISHER, 

No. 33 Rose Street. 



Copyright, 1884, by A. T. B. Db Witt. 



A CLOUD IN THE HONEYMOON. 

CAST OF CHARACTERS. jp ^-/y^ Si 

Me. Twiddle, a school teacher. O I ^ 

Mks. Susanna Twiddle, his wife. ^ O ^ 



TIME OF PLAYING— THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES. 



SCENERY. 

SCENE— A simply furnished room. Door, R. Screen, L., supposed to hide a 
Door.— A Window, in flat, c. ; a small Round Table, with Candlestick, &c. R. C; 
Chairs, &c. 



COSTUMES. 

Mr. Fwiddle—Ne&t, dark, suit. 

Mrs. Susanna Twiddle — A fashionable ulster, a tasty hat, with handsome pink 
feather ; particularly liaudsome gloves, hosiery and boots. 



PROPERTIES. 



"^ Gentleman's Umbrella and Hat, Candlestick, with Candle to light, Matches, and 
Cigars, tor Mrs. Susanna Twiddle. 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

in. means Eight of Stage, facing the Audience ; L. Left ; C. Centre ; R. C. Right 
01 Ci'iitve; L. C. Left of Centre D. F. Door in the Flat, or Scene running aci-oss 
the I'lick of the Stage; C. D. F. Centre Door in the Flat; R. D. F. Right Door in 
the Flat: L. C. F. Left Door in the Flat: R. D. Right Door; L. D. Left Door ; 1 E. 
First Entrance : 2 E. Second Entrance ; U. E. Upper Entrance ; 1, 2 or 3 G. First, 
Second or Third Groove. 

p. R. C. C. L. C. L. 

l^^The reader is supposed to be upon the stage facing the audience. 



A CLOUD IN THE HONEYMOON. 



SCENE — A simply furnished Room. Door, R. Screen, h., supposed to 
hide a Door. A Window, in flat, c. A small lionnd Tabic, with 
Candlestick, ete.,B. c; Chairs, etc. 

Enter Twiddle, r., with an umbrella under his arm. 

Twiddle. Nonsense, Twiddle! you are a fool, sir! Think the mat- 
ter over deliberately and maturely, Twiddle, as becomes a man and 
a teacher. It is scarcely a month since you married a charming lit- 
tle woman, who has lived in the genteelest society, and travelled 
abroad with very distinguished people, as companion. At half-past 
seven this morning you leave her in the arms of Morpheus^ — greatly 
envying that rascal Morpheus — awd go to knock Latin into the little 
boys' heads, by the application of a cane in a situation precisely the 
reverse. You return a little earlier than usual to breakfast — that 
same application having been uncommonly expeditiously applied ; 
and as you approach your house you .see, or you fancy you see, a hat 
with pink feather, and an ulster, and a smart figure, which your arm 
has encircled in moments of honeymoon affection, and a foot and an- 
kle, which has caused you many a sigh when you were a bachelor, 
all tripping along the street quietly, stealthily, close to the wall, as 
if afraid of observation, A queer feeling — a sort of no-how-ish-ness 
— runs all up and down your back ; you turn and follow. The afore- 
said feather, ulster, figure, and foot and ankle disappear round the 
comer; you mizzle round the same : and the vision is gone I But was 
it a vision? Were your senses deluded, Twiddle? Or was it in 
truth the partner of your bosom, who should be at home making vour 
toast. Twiddle? That's what you ask yourself. Fie! Twiddle,' fie! 
for shame, sir. Are there not other pink feathers in the world and 
other ulsters, and other smart figures and other feet and ankles 
which cause you to sigh ? No! I don't mean that ! but are you not a 
consummate fool, sir, to suppose tliat the aforesaid partner of your 
bosom could be running out at early hours of the morning in a secret 
and clandestine manner when the aforesaid partner of your bosom is 
certainly employed in making toast for your breakfast there ? {Opens 
door, B.) No ; she isn't. Then, she assuredly is in the arms of Mor- 



4 A CLOUD IN THE HONETMOON. 

pheus, or doing up her back hair in the bedroom. (Peeps iehind 
screen.) No; she isn't. Then, without the shadow of a doubt, she is 
in the house somewhere. Remember, Twiddle, remember, that being 
naturally of a jealous temperament, you swore, when you married, 
upon the still smouldering ashes of your bachelorship to abjure that 
failing, and to have implicit trust and confidence in the partner of 
your bosom, even should your own eyes — 

Enter Mks. Twiddle, hastily, k. d., dressed precisely as described by 

Twiddle. 

Mrs. T. Home again ! 

Twid. {Turning.) Eh? 

Mrs. T. {Seeing him). Ah ! 

Twid. Oh! you have been out, it seema. 

Mrs. T. Of course, since ycu see I have come in. 

Twid. The very same pink feather, the very same ulster, the very 
same foot and ankle. 

Mrs. T. What's that you say ? 

Twid. Just look the other way, my love. 

Mrs. T. {Going up to take off her ulster.) What do you meant 

Twid. And the very same et cetera. 

Mrs. T. Are you long home from the School ? 

Twid. Just this moment returned ? {Sitting down, aside.) The no- 
how-ishnesa is running all up and down my back again. 

Mrs. T. {Occupied at hack.j Your breakfast shall be ready directly, 
ducky. 

Twid. {Preoccupied.) The same pink feather, and the same et 
cetera. 

Mrs. T. I've got some watercresses for you ; I know you like a 
little green — 

Twid. {Starting from his reverie.) Who's a little green ? What's a 
little green ? 

Mrs. T. {Laughing.) Why! what are you dreaming about ? 

Twid. {Rising.) Nothing — a mere colorless nothing (osirfe.) What 
the deuce does she mean by a little green ? ( Taking her hand solemn- 
ly, with the rhythm of the well-known song,) "O, Susanna." {Changing 
tone.) I'm not in the slighest degree curious; but I should like to 
know what you went out this morning for, when baker, grocer, and 
milkman bring all the necessaries of life to the door. 

Mrs. T. Oh, there are a thousand and one things a young house- 
keeper is forced to buy herself. 

Twid. Now, as I said before, I am not curious ; but I should like to 
know the one of the one thousand and one you have been buying 
this morning. 

Mrs. T. Oil ! I just went out for some needles I want to use. 

Twid. Which way? • 

Mrs. T. {Laughing.) The usual one, by putting the thread at one 
end and sewing with the other. 

Twid. Which way did you go ? 

Mrs. T. (Oh, I — {icitli more constrained laughing). Why, one would , 
think you were examining your boys. 

Twid. The fact is I thought I saw your pink feather, et cetera, 
going— 



A CLOUD IN THE HONEYMOON. 5 

Mrs. T. Where? {aside.) Can he suspect ? 

TwiD. Down the next street. 

Mrs. T. That's the way to my fancy store. 

TwiD. Which, if I remember, lies in the opposite direction. 

Mrs. T. Oh! One takes the longest way sometimes, for a little air. 

TwiD. {Aside.) A little air! that's an empty reason. t^Aloud.) 
Show me your needles, my love. 

Mrs. T. {Embarrassed.) My needles! Oh! I couldn't exactly get 
my number. 

TwiD. You wanted a great quantity, then ? 

Mrs. T. I mean my size. 

TwiD. {Solemitli/.) -'O Susanna!" {She looks at Mm, he is embar- 
rassed and couqlis.) Hem! Hem! 

Mrs. T. Well ? 

TwiD. {Quickly changing his tone.) I don't like your going out in 
that way, ma'am. 

Mrs. T. What do you mean? 

Twin. {Embarrassed.) In fact — in short; I don't think it at all 
proper that a charming young female, with such a foot and ankle, 
and such an — et cetera, should be in the street alone. 

Mrs. T. Now be reasonable, Themistocles. You know that we are 
forced to be economical. We can't afford to keep a servant. You 
are obliged to be out almost all day. 

TwiD. Alas! as Virgil says, you remind me of my misfortune. 

Mrs. T. Then we must conform ourselves, like a good little new- 
married couple, to our limited means. I am sure I try to be as eco- 
nomical as I can ; and you know how I complain of your extravagan- 
ces for me, all because you love me so well. You are always want- 
ing to get something for your dear little Susanna, you naughty man; 
and yet you deprive yourself of all your bachelor iuxuries. 

TwiD. Because I think it just, Mrs. T. ; and I only wish I had had 
any little faulty excesses, in which bachelor gents are wont to in- 
dulge, in order that I might have laid the sacrifice of them at your 
pretty feet — to say nothing of the ankles. But I had none : I was 
never given to the indulgence of sherry cobblers, nor of gin slings, 
nor of tobaccos. I never touched a cigar in my life, knd if there's 
anj'thing I hate, it's a cigar. Oh ! pah ! a cigar : I execrate a cigar. 
The very thought of a cigar gives me a no-how-ish-ness. 

Mrs. T. {Caressingly patting his cheeks.) Well, then, my Themis- 
tocles shall have his other little indulgences ; a sweetbread for din- 
ner sometimes, with crumbs, eh ? and the family circle at the thea- 
tre ; a good cry at a domestic drama, now and then, hey ? {As if 
talking to a child) : There's a goody, goody, goody. 

TwiD. {Completeh/ mollified, aside.) Now, I can't stand the "Goody, 
goody, goody." Twiddle, I repeat it, you were a consummate fool to 
to have had the slightest suspicion. 

Mrs. T. ( JFho has gone up to set out a table.) And it shall have its 
breakfast directly, if it's a good boy ; and I'll get its toast ready, 
nicely browned, as it likes it, and a good cup of tea ; and I'll be its 
only servant to wait on it. There ! 

■fwiD, {Enchanted.) And I'll pay the wages. There! {Kisses 
her.) 
Mrs. Naughty, naughty, be quiet! 

TwiD. {Still holding her, aside.) I renew my conviction that Twid- 
dle was a fool. 



b A CLOUD IN THE HONEYMOON. 

Mrs. T. (Aside.) Thank goodness, he suspects nothing. 

TwiD. That's what I call nice. 

Mrs. T. To be so happy together. 
TwiD. All alone. 

Mrs. T. Without any one to watch and spy. 

TwiD. {Letting her go icith sudden sus])icion again.) Hey! What 
did you say ? 

Mrs. T. Without any one to prevent our being as gay as crickets. 

Twid. {Approuchi)ig again.) Oh! 

Mrs. T. And having a little private polka or schottische to amuse 
ourselves sometimes. 

Twid. {Encircling her waist again.) Yes. Getting up a little do- 
mestic Casino of our own; for I have never indulged in any other, 
Mrs. T. 

Mrs. T. {Humming a polka or schottische.) Yes; so, la, la, la! 

Twid. {Humming and dancing.) La, la, la. 

Mrs. T. (/;rt«ciH(7.) That's it. La, la, la! 

Twid. {Dancing.) La, la, la! 

Mrs. T. {As before.) Oh, Themistocles, I wish — La, la, la! 

Twid. {As before.) What, my dear? La, la, la! 

Mrs. T. You had some little fault— la, la, la! 

Twid. A fault, why ? La, la, la ! 

Mrs. T. Because— La, la, la! 

Twid. Because f La, la, la! 

Mrs. T. I'll tell you another time. {Stopping out of hreath.) Only, 
I can't stir another step. I'm choking. {Falls back in his arms.) 

Twid. Hand round the refreshments. {Kisses her.) 

Mrs. T. {Springing up.) We can manage to keep ourselves happy 
you see. 

Twid. Oh, yes. 

Mrs. T. In mutual affection. 

Twid. And mutual confidence. {Looking sharply at her.) Never 
having any secrets one from the other, hey? Never! 

Mrs. T. {Turning the conversation.) Hush! I think the kettle's 
boiling over. 

Twid. I'll go and put on my dressing gown to be all comforta- 
ble. 

Mrs. T. Do, deary. 

Twid. Adoo, ducky. 

Exit Twid., e., behind screen, taking hat and umbrella with him. 

Mrs, T. (Going h., stops.) No secrets one from the other ! Poor 
dear hnbby, if he knew that I kept a secret from him — an awful se- 
cret! To tliink now that he might have followed me — seen me go 
into — oh, the very thought gives me the shivers all over. To say the 
truth, a secret passion is a frightful thing, when, do what j'ou will, 
you can't root it out. Ah ! men are happy creatures ; they can do 
what they like ; but they never allow us poor women, any little 
amusements. Oh, if Themistocles knew that, when he is absent all 
day, I had a faithful friend to brighten my dull hours of solitude, 
wouldn't he be in a boiling rage? (Listening.) Now, though, it is 
the kettle. (liuns hastihj into door, e.) 

At tJie moinent she goes out Twid. rushes in, l., pale and in a state of 
great agitation. 



A CLOUD IN THE HONEYMOON. 7 

TwiD. {Sniffing.) There's no doubt! it's smoke! tobacco smoke! 
fvigiitful tobacco smoke! A mau has been here! a wretched male 
being has been blowing a cloud in our nuptial apartment. Horror! 
a cloud — and in our honeymoon too — a cloud of tobacco smoke. Pah! 
I'm half-choked with rage, and t'other thing. A man, a smoker! who 
can he be ? Ah! I recollect. I've several times seen a big- whiskered 
and frightfully moustached individual prowling about the house, al- 
ways smoking a cigar — and a big one too — Oh ! wasn't it a big ono ? 
Horror! And when I looked at him, so, {Puts on a comical air of in- 
dignation,) he laughed in my face ; he positively laughed in my face 
— I ask any unprejudiced person if there is anything to laugh at in 
my face — and walked off, the sneak. It must have been tliis wretch- 
ed being with the whiskers and the very big cigar. He's always about 
here, near the house. O, Susanna! to think that you — with your 
sweet caressing voice, and your "goody, goody, goody," could be so 
deceitful, receive a mau in secret, with a very big cigar, who turns 
our nuptial apartment into a filthy pothouse. Pah ! Oli Susanna : 
could I have thought it of you? {Almost crying,) you, who call me 
duck^' and you fancied I could see nothing; but ycu forgot that I 
could smell. Yes, unhappy woman, if Twiddle has no eyes, he's got 
a rose, and a good one, too. If I catch him — him and his big cigar — 
I'll give it to him. So, and so, and so ! {As he speaks Twid. kicks 
chairs and table, and upst'o all the furniture. 

Enter Mrs. T., with breakfast on tray. 

Mrs. T. Good gracious ! What are you up to ? 

Twid. Mrs. T. {PicJcs up the chairs, cfc, ashamed.) 

Mrs. T. If that's the way you help me in my domestic arrange- 
ments 

Twid. There seem to be some domestic arrangements in which 
you consider my help unnecessary, Mrs. T. 

Mrs. T. Why, bless us, what ails the man ? {She is arranging the 
breakfast at the table.) 

Twid. {Aside.) Command yourself, Twiddle! The hour of ven- 
geance is not j'et come! {Aloud !) What ails me? Hunger ails me — 
thirsts ails me — everything ails me. (Aside.) My calm is wonder- 
ful. 

Mrs. T. {at table.) I never knew you so impatient before. One 
would think you were in a hurry to go. Now, come ! breakfast is 
ready. 

Twid. {Sulkily.) Thank ye; don't want any ; aint hungry. 

Mrs. T. {Cajoling.) What! is it out of temper now, because it has 
been waiting ? Come! {Looking at him.) Good gracious ! What's 
the matter with you ? You are all yellow and green. 

Twid. Shouldn't wonder — green in the eye. 

Mu.s. T. What is it, tell me, Themistocles ? Misty, Misty! 

Twid. Yes, Madam, it is misty, confoundedly misty, and cloudy 
too. 

Mrs. T. It's very often so, hereabouts. 

Twid. It is, is it? (Ferociously.) Oh Susanna! 

Mrs. T. You alarm me ; I don't understand. 

Twid. (As hrforc.) You don't understand? (Changing tone and 
manner.) Pour me out my tea. 

Mrs. T. (Bursting out laughing.) Ha! ha! ha! how droll you are. 



8 A CLOUD IN THE HONEYMOON. 

TwiD. {Laughing also, fiendishly.) Ha! ha! ha! So, I'm droll. 
You think so ? (Sits at table.) 

Mrs. T. Come, eat your breakfast. 

TwiD. (Aside.) I will; I'll dissemble ; I'll eat like an ogre. 

Mrs. T. {Pouring out tea.) You like it strong? 
TwiD. {Aside.) You seem to draw it pretty strong, Mrs. T., 
certainly. {Smelling.) I can smell the monster's odor here. 

Mrs. T. Well ? 

TwiD. {Still aside. ) Yes ; that's it. Fee-f o-f um. I smell — 

Mrs. T. {Louder icaiting.) Well? 

TwiD. {Starting and shouting.) What? 

Mrs. T. Louder.) I asked whether you liked it strong? 

TwiD. {As before.) Well, and I answered, you seem to draw it — 
No, not that, {She stops.) Strong; yes. {She pours out.) No, no! 

Mrs. T. You should make up your mind. There it is now. ( Gives 
cup.) And I hope it will make you a little more loveable. 

TwiD. Oh Susanna ! Then, you don't think me loveable ? (Almost 
crying.) Perhaps you have seen some one (aside) with moustaches 
(aloud) somewhere in the world (aside) just before the door (aloud) 
more to your mind than me (aside) with a very big cigar. 

Mrs. T. What folly ! 

TwiD. (Getting patltetic.) Tell me, then, oh tell me, that you love 
no one — no one at all, in the least, but your own Themistocles, your 
Misty, jouY ducky, your "goody, goody, goody." You don't, do you? 
(Tales hold of her hand pulling her slightly towards him.) 

Mrs. T. There's an idea to get into your head, Themistocles! I 
hope 3'ou are not jealous. 

TwiD. Jealous ! I. Oh, no, no, no, never. You know that is a de- 
fect I don't possess. 

Mrs. T. No nor any other. (Aside). I wish you did. 

TwiD. Oh Susanna. (He has heen holding and fondling her hand, 
goes to kiss it, and starts back icith a loud cry). Ha ! 

Mrs. T. (Starting). What's the matter again, now ? 

TwiD. (Aside, jumping up). Her very dress smells of the horrid 
tobacco smoke. (Aloud). Mrs. T. : There are in tlie world creatures 
— monsters of iniquity — degraded beings, who commit excesses, 
criminal excesses, and smoke cigars, Mrs. T. (Aside.) She's con- 
fused. (JZoJici.) I speak of smoking, as I should speak of anything 
else, Mrs. T., because I hate it, and because I have sworn lips sul- 
lied by Cheroots or Cubas should never approach yours, Mrs. T. 
(Aside.) She starts ! She colors. Twiddle, you're a lost man! Lips 
sullied by Cheroots and Cubas have — [staggers back.) Oh ! 

Mrs. T. (Confused). Now, Themistocles, you know I love you 
dearly, but if I had a partiality for — I say, if J had. 

TwiD. If ! madam ? My convictions go beyond those two very un- 
comfortable letters of the alphabet. 

Mrs. T. Well, then— 

TwiD. (Aside, overwhelmed.) Now it's coming. Twiddle, be firm ! 

Mrs. T. ( With hesitation.) I have ! 

"Eww. (Starting back.) Oh! 

Mrs. T. But, I can't help it ; indeed, I can't ; it's too strong for me 
to resist. 

TwiD. Wretched woman ! 

Mrs, T. But, you'll pardon me : I'm sure you will. 



A CLOUD IN Tlli; HONT.VMOON*. 9 

TwiD. I ! pardon jou ! {Laughing icihllii.) Ha! ha! ha! {Changing 
tone.) Never! 

Mrs. T. After all ifs only a fancy. 

TwiD. Oil, you call it a fancy, do yon? Oh, sophistry of women! 

Mus. T. And you are all the day at the school; and when I'm all 
alone I want some object to console me ; and then I dream 'tis you 
are by my side. 

TwiD. 'Well ! that I admit is a fancy! Horrible idea! 

MuR.'T. There! don't put yourst-lf in a passion. 
TwiD. I'll trample tlie object to dust beneath my indignant feet. 

Mils. T. A!i! \mi I'll hide tlie objec^t out of si.Lcht. 

Twiu. But njy outraged feelings will discover the object, and fling 
the object out of the window. {Seizing her unit.) And you too, 
Mndam, and you, too. 

Mrs. T. Gracious ! you hurt me. 

TwiD. Am] rU send for your motlier, your poor old virtuous moth- 
er; and I'll say to her with dignity : '"Take back your daughter, I'll 
have nothing more to say to her." There! {Strikes an attitude.) 

Mrs. T. 'Tis abominable! You men think you are to have all the 
little pleasiires of life to yourselves, i\.m\ never permit poor women 
the IcMst comfort and consolation in your absence. But 'tis enough 
to make a revolution. You are nothing but tyrants, and we'll emanci- 
pate ourselves in spite of you. That we will ! {Exit L. ) 

Twit). She'll emancipate herself ! Mysterious and awful word! She'll 
— Oil! 'tis enough to drive one mad ! And slie puts on an air of inno- 
cent simplicity, and avows her pnrtiaiity, as if there was no harm in 
it, and calls me a tyrant, wiien I'm choking witli jealousy and rage; 
and she swears she'll — Oh! but I'll discover iier wretched accomplice. 
I'll watch him — his big cigar and all — and then I'll surprise him — his 
big cigar and all — and he shall find I've smoked liim — his big cigar 
and all. But how — when — what — where ? {Looks around as if for the 
means of conceidment.) 

Enter Mrs. T., l., with TwiD.'s hat and umbrella. 

Mrs. T. Come, if you are very good, I'll forgive and forget. 
_TwiD. She says she'll — she! she! 

Mrs. T. Come, here's your hat and your umbrella. 

TwiD. ( Witli a sombre nian)ier.) Wliat for ? 

Mrs. T. What do you mean, what for? Isn't it time for you to go 
back to the school 1 You know you must be punctual. 

TwiD. Yes, yes. {Aside.) She's regularly turning me out of the 
house. 

Mrs. T. And you might lose your place. Think! the only means 
we have to depend upon. {Cajoling him.) Come, come! it musn't 
look so cross at its Susanna. 

TwiD. {Aside.) She's trying on the goodies again. Cockatrice ! 

Mrs. T. Come, kiss and make up. What! is it sulky? Come, that's 
a defect at last, and I am glad to find that you have one too. Now, 
come ! be a goody, goody, goody. {Kisses him.) 

Twid. {Jside.) 'There, I said so ! serpent ! 

Mus. T. But now you must be off as quickly as you can. 

Twid. {Aside.) "Tis clear, she wants to get rid of me. 

Mrs. T. What do you say ? 

Twid. I say, I say that — that I'm going — it is the hour. {Aside.) 



10 A CLOUD IN THE HON'EYMOOX. 

Yes, evidently the hour she expects the horrid fellow with his mous- 
taches, and, all the rest. But, I wont go t'ai- — 

Mus. T. {Offering liiti hat, tcliidi .sJie has been brushing after putting 
the umbrella bi/ the icuidow.) Now, go. Here are your gloves, too. 
(Gives them.) Don't be too late for dinner. And mind, when you come 
back, knock hard, for I may be occupied. 

TwiD. Ah, you wish to be aware that I — 

Mrs. T. Of course. What does the man mean ? 

TwiD. {Solemnli/.) Oh Susanna. (Takes Jicr hand, then changing his 
mind, flings it from him.) Good bye. (Exit rapidly, k. d.) 

Mrs. T. It is very evident he has some notion of the truth. I was so 
confused I scarcely dared look him in the face. What with his fancies 
and suspicious, and questionings and delays, I thought he'd never go ; 
aud I never longed more to be alone and indulge in my little weakness. 
But now I'm free ! I'll take care not to be caught in the act though. 
(She locks the door R. ) Come forth little companion of my solitude. 
(Looks around her.) Come, my friend, and solace my lonely hours. 
Come, fellow-accomplice, come! (She j^uts her hand in her p>ocket and 
pulls out a cigar, which she holds up in triunqjh.) Ah! there you are, 
my treasure, my beauty! How can anybody call my little darling 
nasty? Now to profit by my solitude to enjoy it. (Looking round for 
a match.) Where are the matches ? (flnds them.) Ah! I tremble still, 
for when I think that my husband has sworn to throw us both out of 
the window. Ah, ball! I'll risk it. Lights a candle and then the 
cigar.) That's it; it's alight: how nice! (Vuffs. A knocking at the 
door.) Oh! what's that? Somebody knocks. (Knocking again.) 
Wlio's there ? (She trembles with agitation.) 

TwiD. (JJithout.) 'Tis I. 

Mrs. T. Ah, my husband! ( Puts atvay the candle without extinguish- 
ing it.) 

TwiD. (Knocking.) Open the door! open the door! 

Mrs. T. (Tri/ing to extinguish the cigar.) I'm coming, I'm coming. 
( A side. ) Oh ! where shall "l hide it ? what shall I do ? 

TwiD. Why don't you open the door, Mrs.T. ? 

Mrs. T. Coming. (Putting her eigar in her 2^(^ck(!t.) 'Tis still 
alight ; I shall certainly blow myself up. Well, that's better than 
being blown up by him. 

TwiD. (Knocking fonder.) WhatJthe devil are you up to, Mrs. T. ? 

Mrs. T. (Going up to open the door.) Well! well! don't be so im- 
patient. 

TwiD. (Rushing in with disturbed mien.) You've been a deuced long 
time with your "coming," Mrs. T. You don't seem to know exactly 
the meaning of the word, Mrs. T. (Looking around him icitli sus2>icion.) 

Mrs. T. What, what are you looking for ? 

TwiD. ( With an expression of rage!) Looking for ! She asks me 
vrhat I am looking for. ( With a change of tone ironically.) My um- 
brella, deary, which I left behind. ( With a sudden cxchnnation.) Ah, 
in tluit room, tJiat room! (Crosses and enters precipitateUj the room be- 
hind the screen.) 

Mrs.T. (Laughing.) Oh, only his umbrella ! 

TwTD. (lie-entering, aside.) Not there! Yet I saw the fellow go 
round the comer, big cigar and all. He can only have come in here, 
big cigar and all (smelling ;) and, as I said before, it is a decided case 
of Fee — fo — f um. 



A CLOUD IN THE HONEYMOON. 11 

Mrs. T. (Laughhirf.) Now, if you would trouble yourself to look 
Touiid, you might find — 

TwiD. Find ! where ? 

Miis. T. There ! 

TwiD. {Tivisting round.) Where, there? 

Mrs. T. By the window. 

TwiD. {Turning siiddcnhj.) By the window! ah, yes, my umbrella. 

Mrs. T. Didn't you say. your umbrella? 

TwiD. Yes, to be sure ; I want it when clouds are coming up in tbis 
way. (Snuffing.) There's sure to be a storm. (Turns and sees Mrs. 
T. occupied inputting to rights, and quickly undoes the hasp of the win- 
dow.) 

Mrs. T. That's why you are so nervous and agitated, I suppose. 

TwiD. Nervous ; yes, my nerves are all of a quiver. They can't 
abide clouds, Mrs. l". (Aside, brandishing his umbrella.) And' won't 
there be a storm. 

Mrs. T. (Occupied, without looking at him.) You'll be too late for 
the school liojir. 

Twid. We n I'm going; I'm going; you see I'm going. (Does not 
stir but still continues looking around under table and chairs, ^-c.) 

Mrs. T. Y''ou call that going, do you? 

Twid. (Ashamed to be caught brandishing his umbrelln, with dignity.) 
Mrs. T. : I know how to decline the vei'b "go" without your teaching ; 
and I decline also any interfei'ence in mj' grammatical functions. 
(Going, aside.) Oh, won't there be a storm! (Brandishes umbrella, 
then turns, regards Mrs. T. with severe dignity, and exit, c.) 

Mrs. T. (Watches him out, locks the door c. again, and then proceeds 
to re-light her cigar, talking and singing all the while.) Ah! how he 
frightened me witli liis umbrella. What did he want to come and 
disturb me at the critical moment for ? (Smoking.) Oh ! how good it 
is! That is true enjoyment! (Throws herself into an arm-chair.) 
How the smoke mounts, mounts in the air in pretty little spirals. 
(Smelling.) It's a regular nosegay! Ah, with eyes half -closed, gazing 
through a film at the cloud of smoke, I feel wafted upwards towards 
the sky along with it, and dream such pleasant dreams, in the midst 
of whicli looms forth the face of my liusband, calm, serene, beautiful 
in expression. (As she speaks the window is opened softly and the head 
of TwwohTS appears from without making ahorrible grimace.) Ah! I 
could dream on thus for hours ! Wliat a short-lived pleasure it is after 
all ! And they grumble at it. 

Twid. (Getting in at the tvindow.) The storm is coming down upon 
their heads. (Half-choking.) Oh, pah, there's that horrible Fe — fo 
— fum again! It half chokes me. Oh. (Begins to cough, spite his 
efforts to restrain himself, stumbles in by the window, and lets fall his 
umbrella.) 

Mrs. T. (Alarmed at tlie noise.) Ah! (Turns, sees Twiddle, jumps 
up hastily and springs towards the screen, with a scream.) 

Twid. ( Getting up. ) Oh Susanna ! 

Mrs. T. (Hiding her cigar behind her.) Themistocles ! 

Twid. Yes, madam, your Themistocles, your injured Themistocles, 
(Rubs his legs.) Yoiir Misty, who means to clear up, your hoi'rible 
doings, madam ! 

Mrs. T. (Trembling.) How can you frighten one so, coming in at 
the window in that way ? 

Twid. Oh, yes, it's abominable, I dai-e say, madam! It gives you 
no warning, madam — leaves the wretch no time to escape, madam. 

Mrs. T. What wretch ? 



12 A CLOUD IN THE HONEYMOON, 

TwiD. The infamous villain whom you receive in my absence, 
madam. 

Mrs. T.I? 

TwiD. Where is he ? Mrs. T. Who ? 

Twin. (Shoiiti)tg.) He! 

Mrs. T. Who ? 

TwiD. {With indignation.) Madam, the reiteration of those evas- 
ive forms of interrogation won't serve your turn. {Solannly.) You 
see that I know all. 

Mrs. T. Ail what ? 

TwiD. Another note of interrogation! ( With reproach.) Oh Susanna! 
{Shouting again.) The whole place stinks of tobacco smoke. 

Mrs. T. Well, now you say so, I fancy — perhaps there maybe a 
slight odor — of some kind of smoke. 

TwiD. Shade of Mrs Bouncer! She'll want to persuade me next it 
is the chimney. {Advancing npon her.) Oh Susanna ! {Seising her 
right hand, ichich she holds behind her.) Oh Susanna! {Screaming.) 
01 I've burned my fingers. 

Mrs. T. I thouglit you would, going on in that way. 

TwiD. You thought I would. What have you got? {Seising her 
hand again and holding it np.) What's that? 

Mrs. T. Now don't be angry. 

TwiD. A cigar? 

Mrs. T. Y'es, I went to buy it this morning. I can't help it. It's a 
habit accquired when I travelled with a lady in Spain. 

TwiD. Oh ! what doesn't one acquire in genteel society ? 

Mrs. T. It's grown to be a passion, Twiddy ; but it is my only one, 
except my love for you : an old habit I can't get rid of ; but you said 
you had such a horror of smoking, that, that — 

TwiD. You smoke ? Susanna smokes! I smoke too, now — ah! 

Mrs. T. {Kneeling.) Don't be angry. Tliemistocles, pardon me. 

TwiD. No, no, poor dear little wife: it is I who am to blame. I 
was a fool. Jealous! I fancied you received, in my absence, a smoker 
— a horrid fellow, Mith moustaches, and all the rest. 

Mrs.T. Jealous! Then you have a fault too. 

TwiD. I have ; now dou't be angry, Susanna, pardon me ! {Kneels 
down before her.) 

Mrs.T. We'll pardon each other — there! {They embrace on their 
knees.) And, if you like, ducky, I'll try and not smoke any more. 

Twid. No, no deary, I'll try and smoke with j'ou. 

Mrs. T. {H(df-ashamed, pulling another cigar ont of her poclcet.) 
Will you, though ? There! {Gives cigar.) 

Twid. Wliy, she keeps a Co-operative store ! Oh Susanna! Well, give 
it here ! {He lights his cigar at hers ; both still k)ieeling.) How droll! I 
never could abide it; but, 'tisn't so bad. 

Mrs. T. You'll learn to find it very nice. Puff away! 

Twid. I'm puffing ! {Smokes and begins to cough.) Ongh, ongh ! 

Mrs. It's nothing when you get used to it. And we'll always 
smoke together. And the clouds we blow shall be such pleasant ones, 
now that other horrid cloud is blown over. 

Twid. What cloud ? 

Mrs. T. The Cloud in the Honeymoon. 

They salute the audience, still on their knees, Twid. holding Mrs. 
T. round the waist, both smoking. 

CURTAIN. 



DE WITT'S ACTEG PLAYS. 



j^" Please notice (liat nearly ell tJo Comedies, Tarccs and Comediettas In ilia following 
List of " De Witt's Acting PlaY8 " are very suitable for rei^reseutatiou iu smuU Amaleur 
Xlieatrea and ou Tai-lor Stages, as tLity iiec-d but Lttle extrinsic aid li-um complex sceuery 
or expensive costumes. Tiiey have attained their deserved popularity by their droll situa- 
tioua, excellent plots, great humor aud brilliant dialogues, uo less than by the fact that 
they are the most perfect iu every respect of any edition of plays ever published either iu 
the XJnited States or Europe, whether as i-egards purity of text, accuracy and fullness of 
stage directious aud sceuery, or elegance of tyi)ography aud clearness of printing. 

*»* In ordering please copy the figures at the commencement of each piece, -(vhlch 
indicate the number of the piece in " De Witt"s List of Acting Plays." 

;8®" Any of the following Plays sent, postage free, on receipt of price— J-j/feen Centa 
each. 

>eS- The figure following the name of the Play denotes the number of Acts. The 
figures in the columns indicato the number of characters— il. male; i". female. 



75. Adrienne, drama, 3 acts 7 

231. All that Glitters ia not Gold, comic 

drama, 2 acts C 

308, All ou Account of a Bracelet, come- 
dietta, 1 act 2 

114. Auythiuf^ for a Change, comcdy.l act 3 
167. Apple Blossoms, comedy, 3 acts. .. 7 
93. Area Belle, farce, 1 act 5 

40. Atchi, comedietta, 1 act 3 

89. Aunt Cliarlotte's Maid, farce, 1 act. 3 

258. Auut Dinah's Pledge, temperance 
drama, 2 acts 6 

237. Bachelor's Box (La Petite Hotel), 
comedietta, 1 act 4 

166. Bardell vs. Pickwick, sketch. 1 act. 

310. Barrack Room (The), comedictta,2a. C 

41. Beautiful Forever, iarce, 1 act 2 

141. Bells (The), drama, 3 acts 9 

223. Betsey Baker, farce, 1 act 2 

67. 15irthplace of Podgers, farce, 1 act.. 7 
36. Black Sheep, drama, 3 acts 7 

279. Black-iiyed Susau, drama, 2 acts. . . 14 

296. Black aud White, drama, 3 acts 6 

160. Blow for Blow, drama, 4 acts 11 

179. Breach of Promise, drama, 2 acts.. 5 
25. Bioken-Hearted Club, comedietta. . 4 

70. Bonnie Fish Wife, farce, 1 act 3 

261. Bottle (The), drama, 2 acts 11 

226. Box and Cox, Romance, J act 2 

24. Cabman No. 93, farce, 1 act 2 

199. Captain of the Watch, comedietta, 

1 act 6 

1. Caste, comedy, 3 acts 5 

175, Cast upon the World, drama, 5 acts. 11 
65. Catharine Howard, historical play, 

3 acts 12 

C9. Caught by the Cuff, farce, 1 act. . . . 4 

80. Charming Pair, farce, 1 act. ....... 4 

65. Checkmate, comedy, 2 acts 6 

68. Chevalier de St. George, drama, 3a. 9 
8 J 9. Chimney Corner (The), domestic 

drama, 3 acts 5 

76. Chops of the Chauuel, farce, 1 act.. 3 
J05. Circumstances alter Cases, comic 

operetta, i act 1 

149. Clouds. c<mie<ly . 4 atHs 8 

L2L Ck^niicbl Cuuute'ss, force, 1 act . . . : ; 3 



3 


222. 




24S. 


3 


107. 




15-2. 


2 


52. 


3 


148. 


a 




2 


113. 


2 


20. 


3 


286. 




4. 


3 


22. 




275. 


1 


90. 


2 


16. 


2 


68. 


2 


12.'). 


3 


71. 


2 


142. 


3 


20*. 


5 


21. 


2 


200. 


3 


240. 


6 


263. 


2 


186. 


8 


242. 


1 


47. 


6 


283. 


1 




2 


202. 




31,5. 


2 


297. 


3 




5 


200. 




185. 


5 


230. 


1 


103. 


3 


9. 


5 




3 


128. 




lOl. 


2 


99. 


2 


262. 


1 


145. 


7 


lO'i. 


1 


88, 



H. F. 

Cool as a Cucumber, farce, 1 act.. . . 3 2 
Cricket on the Hearth, diama, 3 acts 8 6 



Cupboard Love, farce, 1 act. 
Cupid's Eye-Glass, comedy, 1 act.. 1 

Cup of Tea, comedietta, 1 act 3 

Cut Oir with a Shilling, comedietta, 

1 act 2 

Cyril's Success, comedy, 5 acts .... 10 

Daddy Gray, drama, 3 acts 8 

Daisy Farm, drama, 4 acts lo 

Dandelion's Dodges, Iarce, 1 act... 4 

David Garrick, comedy, 3 acts 8 

Day Alter the Wedding, iarce, 1 act 4 
Dearest .Mamma, comedietta, 1 act.. 4 

Dearer than Life, drama, 3 acts 6 

Deborah (Leah), diama, if acts 7 

Deerfoot, farce, 1 act 5 

Doing for the Best, drama, 2 acts. . 6 
Dollars and Cents, comedy, 3 acts. . 9 4 
Drawing Boom Car(A).comedy,l act 2 1 

Dreams, diania, 5 acta.. 6 8 

Drunkard's Warning, drama, 3 acts 6 3 
Drunkard's Doom (The), drama, 2a.l5 5 

Drunkard (The), drama. 5 acts 13 5 

Duchess de la Valliereplay, 5 acts.. 6 4 

Dumb Belle (The), farce, 1 act 4 2 

Easy Shaving, farce, 1 act 5 2 

B. C. B. Susau Jane, musical bur- 

lesque, 1 act 8 1 

Eileen Oge, Irish drama. 4 acts 11 3 

Electric Love, farce, 1 act 1 1 

English Gentleman (An), comedy- 
drama, 4 acts 7 4 

Estranged, operetta. 1 act 2 1 

Everybody's Friend, comedy. 3 acts 6 5 
Family Jars, musical farce', 2 acts . . 5 2 
Faust and Marguerite, drama, 3 acts 9 7 
Fearful Tragedy in the Seven Dials, 

interlude, 1 act 4 1 

Female Detective, drama, 3acts 11 4 

Feriiande. drama, 3 acts 11 10 

Fifth Wlieel. comedv, 3 acts 10 2 

Fifteen Years of a Drunkard's Life, 

melodrama, 3 acts 13 4 

First Love, comedy, 1 act 4 1 

Foiled, drama. 4 acts . . 9 S 

Founded ou FactK, lUrcc, 1 afct. : ; . . . 4 Jj 



DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS-Continued. 



*")9. 
192. 

71. 

53. 

73. 

30. 

131. 
276. 
306. 
277. 

20). 
241. 

28. 
151. 
8. 
180. 
303. 

19. 

60. 
191. 
240. 
301. 
224. 
187. 
174. 
211. 

64. 
100. 
197. 
22.). 
2.52. 

18. 
110. 
129. 
1.59. 
278. 
282. 
273. 
243. 
271. 
214. 
270. 
274. 
122. 
177. 
100. 
299 
139. 

17. 
2 13. 
,tO.I 

SO. 
1 .7. 

111. 
3i. 

m. 

2.J !. 
lil. 
119. 
239. 

48. 

32. 
164. 
29.5 
365. 
22S. 



Fruitsof tbe Wiue Cup, drama, 3cta 6 3 109. 

Game of Cards (.^), comedietU, la. . 3 1 85. 

(iai-rick Fever, larce, 1 act 7 4 87. 

(iertrude's Mouey Box, larce, 1 act. 4 2 143. 

(ioldeu Fetters (Fetterttd). drama, 3.1i i 212. 

Goose with the Goldeu Eggs, larce, 291. 

latt 5 3 210. 

Goto I'utuey, luroe, 1 act 4 3 103. 

Good for Nothiug. comic drama, la. 5 1 154. 

Great Success (A), comedy, 3 acts.. 8 5 63. 

Grimshaw, Bagshaw aud Bradshaw, 249. 

farce, 1 act i 2 208. 

Heir Appareut (The), farce. 1 act... 5 1 39. 

Haudy Audy, drama, 2 acts 10 3 7. 

Happy Pair, comedietta, 1 act 1 1 49. 

Hard Case (A), farce, 1 act 2 15. 

Henry Duubar, drama. 4 acts 10 3 40. 

Henry the Fifth, hist, play, 5 acts.. 38 5 51. 

Her Only Fault, comedietta, 1 act.. 2 2 302. 

He's a Lujiatic, farce, 1 act 3 2 184. 

Hidden Haud, drama, 4 acts 5 5 250. 

High C, comedietta, 1 act 3 3 312. 

High Life Helow Stairs,farce.2 acts. 9 5 

Hiuko, romautic drama, 6 acts 12 7 234. 

His Last Legs, larce, 2 acts 5 3 108. 

His Owu Euemy, farce, 1 act 5 1 188. 

Home, comedy. 3 acts 4 3 109. 

Honesty is the Best Policy, play, 1. 2 216. 

Household Fairy, sketch, 1 act. ... 1 1 236. 

Huntiui^ the Slippers, farce. 1 act., i 1 193. 

Hunch b:ick (The), play, 5 acts 13 2 

Ici on Parle Francais, farce, 1 act... 3. 4 267. 

Idiot Witness, melodrama, 3 acts. .. 6 1 130. 

If 1 haJ a Thousand a Year, farce, 14 3 92. 

I'm not .\Iesilt at all. Irish stew, la. 3 2 218. 

In for a Holiday, farce, 1 act. 2 3 140. 

In the Wrong House, farce, 1 act.. . 4 2 

[ri.sh Attorney (The), farce, 2 acts.. 8 2 115. 

Irish Broom Maker, farce. 1 act. ... 9 3 2. 

Irishman in Loudon, farce, 1 acts. . 6 3 57. 

Irish Liou (The), farce, 1 act. 8 3 104. 

Irish Post (The), drama. 1 act 9 3 112. 

Irish Tutor (Tlie). farce, 1 act 6 2 298. 

Irish Tiger (The), farce. 1 act 5 1 185. 

Irish Widow (The), farce, 2 acts 7 1 84. 

Isabella Orsini, drama, 4 acts 11 4 117. 

I Shall Invite the Major, comedy, 14 1 

Jack Long, drama, 2 acts 9 2 171. 

•Joan of Arc, hist, play, 5 acts 26 6 14. 

Joy is Dangerous, comedy, 2 acts. . 3 3 .SOO. 

Kind toaFault, comedv,'2act8. ... 6 4 269. 

Kis< in the Dark (A), farce, 1 act.. ..23 268. 

Ladies' Battle (The), comedy, 3 acts 7 2 173. 

Lady of Lyons, plav, 5 acts 12 5 227. 

L'Article 47, drama, 3 acts 11 5 176. 

Lame Excuse, farce, 1 act 4 2 254. 

Lanoaslflre Lass, melodrama. 4 acts. 12 3 33. 

r.arkins' Love Letters, fnrce. 1 act.. 3 2 3. 

L'ai) Year, musical dnalitv, 1 act — 1 1 90. 

L "A.l Me Five Shillings, farce, 1 act 5 3 170. 

L ar (The), comedy. 2 act.'; 7 2 289. 

Life Chase, drama, 5 acts 14 5 97. 

L'merick Bov (The), farce. 1 act 5 2 66. 

Little Annie's Birlhdav. farce. 1 act..2 4 209. 

Litt'e Rebel, farce. 1 act 4 3 172. 

Little Rnby, drama, 3 acts 6 6 94. 

Little Em'lv, drama, 4 acts 8 8 45. 

I/ivinsi Ktatnc (The), farce. 1 act 8 2 15.'J, 

Loan of a. Lover (The), va\>dLVilk-,l. 4 1 i 178. 



Locked iu, comedietta, 1 act j 2 

Locked in with a Lady, sketch 1 1 

Locked Out, comic scene ] 1 

Lodgers and Dodgers, larce, 1 act.. 4 2 
Loudon Assurance, comeuy, 5 acts. 10 3 

M. P.. comedy, 4 acts 7 2 

Mabel's Manoeuvre, interlude, 1 act 1 3 

Marcoretti, drama, 3 acts 10 3 

Maria and JIagdalena, play, 4 acts. . 8 C 
Marriage at any Price, larce, 1 act. . 5 3 
JIarriage a Lottery, comedy, 2 acts. 3 4 
Married Bachelors, comedietta, la.. 3 2 
Master Jones' Birthday, faice, 1 act 4 2 

Maud's Peril, drama, 4 acts 6 3 

Midnight Watch, drama. 1 act 8 2 

Milky White, drama, 2 acts 4 2 

Miriam's Crime, drama, 3 acts 6 2 

Model of a Wife, larce, 1 act 3 2 

Model Pp,ir (A), comedy, 1 act 2 2 

Money, comedy, 5 acts 17 3 

More Blunders than One, farce, la. 4 3 
More Sinned against than Sinning, 

original Irish drama, 4 acts 11 

Morning Call (A), comedietta, 1 act. 1 1 

Mr. Scropgius. farce, 1 act 3 3 

Mr. X., farce, 1 act 3 3 

My Uncle's Suit, farce. 1 »':t 4 1 

My Neighbor's Wife, farce, 1 act. . . .3 3 

My Turn Next, farce, 1 act 4 3 

My Walking Photogiajih, mnsical 

duality, 1 act 1 1 

My Wife's Bonnet, farce. 1 act 3 4 

My Wife's Diary, farce. 1 act 3 1 

My Wife's Ont,"farce. 1 act 2 2 

Naval Engagements, farce. 2 acts. . . i 2 
Never Beckon your Chickens, etc., 

farce. 1 act 3 4 

New Men and O'd Acres, comedy, 3 8 5 

Nobody's Child, drama, 3 acts 18 3 

Noemie, drama. 2 acts 4 4 

No Name, drama, 5 acts 7 5 

Not a bit Jealous, farce. 1 act 3 3 

Not if I Know it. Jarce. 1 act 4 4 

Not BO bad as we Seem. i)lay, 5 acts. 13 3 

Not Guilty, drnma. 4 acts 10 (i 

Not such a Fool as he Looks, drama, 

3 acts . 5 4 

Nothing like Paste, farce, 1 act 3 1 

No Thoroughfare, drama, 5 acts 13 C 

Notre Dame, drama. 3 acts 11 8 

Object of Interest (An), larce, 1 act. 4 3 
Obstinate Family (The), farce, 1 act. 3 3 

Off the Stage, comedietta. 1 act 3 3 

Omnibus (Tlie), farce, 1 act 5 4 

On Bread and Water, farce, 1 act... 1 2 

One Too Many, farce. 1 act 4 2 

One Too Many for Him, farce, 1 act 2 3 

£100,000. comedy, 3 acts 8 4 

Only a Hallpenny, farce, 1 act 2 2 

Only Somebody, farce, 1 act 4 2 

On the Jury, drama, 4 acts. . . ., 6 5 

Orange Blossoms, comedietta, 1 act 3 8 

Orange Girl, drama. 4 acts 18 4 

Othello, tragedy, 5 acts 16 2 

Ours, comedy, 3 acts ... 6 3 

Our Clerks, farce. 1 act 7 6, 

Our DomesMcs. comedy-farce, 2 acts G 
Our Wei'nos, m'ilitary jilay, 5nctB. ..2t 5 
Out .at Sea, drama, 5 acts •. 17 5 



DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS-Continued. 



M. r. 

147. Overland Route, comedy, 3 acts. ... 11 5 

305. Pair oi' Shoes (A), larce, 1 act 4 3 

285. Partners tor Lite, coiuedy, 3 acts 7 4 

156. Peace at auy Price, larce, 1 act 1 1 

82. Peep o' Day, drama, 4 acts 12 4 

127. Peggy Greeu, farce, 1 act 3 10 

23. I'ettiooat Parliament, extravaganza, 

1 act 15 21 

293. Philomel, romantic drama, 3 acts.. . 6 4 

62. Photographic Fix, farce, 1 act 3 2 

61. Plot and Passion, drama, 3 acts. ... 7 2 

138. Poll and Partner Joe, burlesqe, la.. 10 3 

217. I'ooi- Pillicoddy, farce, 1 act 2 3 

llO. Poppletou's Predicaments, fax'ce, la. 3 6 

50. Porter's Knot, drama, 2 acts 8 2 

59. Post Boy, drama. 2 acts 5 3 

95. Pretty Horse-Breaker. farce 3 10 

aSO. Pretty Piece of Business (A), come- 
dy, 1 act 2 3 

181. 182. Queen Mary, drama. 4 acts 37 9 

196. Queere.st Courtship (The), comic 

opeietta, 1 act 1 1 

255. Quiet Family, farce, 1 act 4 4 

157. Quite at Home, coniedifctta, 1 act... 5 2 

132. Race for a Dinner, farce, 1 act 10 

237. Regular Fix (A), farce, 1 act 6 4 

183. Richelieu , play, 5 acts 12 2 

38. Rightful Heir, drama, 5 acts 10 2 

77. Roll of the Drum, drama, 3 acts 8 4 

316. Romeo on the Gridiron (A), mono- 
logue, for a lady 1 

195. Rosemi Shell, burlesque, 4 scenes.. 6 3 

247. Rough Diamond (The), farce, 1 act. 6 3 

11(4. Rum, drama, 3 acts 7 4 

18. Ruy Bias, drama, 4 acts 12 t 

229. Sarah's Young Han, faice, 1 act. ... 3 3 

1.58. School, comedy, 4 acts 6 G 

201. School for Scandal, comedy, 5 acts.. 13 4 

264. Scrap of Paper (A), comic drama, 3a. 6 6 

79. Sheep in Wolf's Clothing, drama, la 7 5 

203. She Stoops to Conquer, comedy, 6&.15 4 

37. Silent Protector, farce. 1 act , 3 2 

35. Silent Woman, farce, ] act 2 1 

313. Single Married Man (A), comic ope- 
retta, 1 act 6 2 

43. Sisterly Service, comedietta, 1 act.. 7 2 

6. Six Months Ago, comedietta, 1 act.. 2 1 

221. Slasher and Crasher, farce.. 1 act. . . 6 2 

10. Snapping Turtles, duologue, 1 act. . .1 1 

26. Si)ciet.y, comedy, 3 acts 16 5 

207. Sold Again, comic opei-etta, 1 act... 3 1 

304. Sparking, comedietta., 1 act .> . 1 2 

78. Special Performances, farce, 1 act. . 7 3 
215. Still Waters Run Deep, comedy. 3a. 9 2 
■J ."6. Sweetliearts. di-amatic contrast, 2a.. 2 2 
232. Tail (Tale) of a Shark, musical mon- 
ologue, 1 scene. 1 

31. Taming a Tiger, farce, 1 act 3 

150. TRll-Tale Heart, comedietta. 1 act. . 1 2 

120. Tempest iu a Teapot, comedy, 1 act 2 1 



257 



245. 
251. 

42. 

27. 
133. 
15a. 

134. 

272. 
235 
238 

20 
214. 
16^.. 
126. 
231. 
198. 
265. 
220. 

66. 
123. 
288. 
292. 
294. 
102. 
106. 

81. 
317. 

124. 

91. 

118. 

231. 



54, 



M. 1 

Ten Nights in a Ear Room, drama, 

5 acts 8 "^ 

There's no Sniuke without Fire, 

comedietta, 1 act 1 2 

Thrice Married, personation piece, 

1 act 6 1 

Thumping Legacy (A), 1 act 7 1 

Ticket of Leave Man, drama, 4 acts. 9 3 

Time and the Hour, drama. 3 acts. 7 3 

Time and Tide, drama, 4 acts 7 6 

Timothy to the Rescue, farce, 1 act 4 2 
'Tis Better to Live than to Die, 

farce, 1 act 2 1 

Tompkins the Troubailonr, farce. 1. 3 2 

Toodles (The), drama, 2 acts 10 2 

To Oblige Benson, comedietta, 1 act 3 2 

Trying It On, farce, 1 act 3 3 

Turning the T;ibles. farce, 1 act 5 3 

Turn Him Out, farce, 1 act 3 2 

Tweedio's Rights, comedy, 2 acts.. 4 2 

Twice Killed, farce, 1 act 6 3 

'Twixt Axe and Crown, play, 5 acts. 24 13 

Twin Sisters, comic operetta. 1 act. 2 2 

Two Bonnycastles, farce, 1 act 3 3 

Two Buzzards (The), farce, 1 act 3 2 

Two Gay Deceivers, face, 1 act 3 

Two Poits. farce, 1 act 4 4 

Two Roses (The), comedy. 3 acts. ..7 4 

Two Thorns (The), comedy, 4 acts.. 9 4 

Uncle Dick's Darling, drama, 3 acts 6 5 

Uncle's Will, comedietta, 1 act 2 1 

Up for the Cattle Show, farce, 1 act 6 2 

V.andyke Brown, farce, 1 act 3 3 

Veteran of 1812 (The), romantic mil- 
itary drama, 5 acis 12 2 

Volunteer Review, farce, 1 act 6 6 

Walpole, comedy in rhyme 7 2 

Wanted, a Young Lady, farce, 1 act. 2 1 
Wanted, Oiic Thousand Spirited 
Young Milliners for the Gold Re- 
gions, farce, 1 act 3 7 

War to to the Knife, comedy, 3 acts 5 4 

What Tears can do. comedietta, la.. 3 2 

Which of the Two? comedietta, la.. 2 10 

Who Killed Cock Robin? farce, 2a.. 2 2 

Who is Who? larce 3 2 

Widow Hunt, comedy, 3 acts 4 4 

Widow (The), comedy, 3 acts 7 6 

William Tell with a Vengeance, bur 

lesque 8 2 

(AVindow Curtain, monologue. . . 1 
I Circumstantial Evidence " .... 1 

Woman in Red, drama, 4 acts 6 8 

Woman's Vows and Masons' Oaths, 

dvania, 4 acts 10 4 

Woodcook'.s Little Game, farce. 2a.. 4 4 
Wrong Man in the Right Place (.\), 

farce. 1 .ict 2 3 

Young Collegian, farce, 1 act 3 2 



A COMPLETE DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUE OF DE WITT'S ACT- 
'ING PLAYS AND DE WITT'S ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DRAMAS, 
containing Plot, Costume, Scenery, Time of Representation, and all other informa- 
tion, tnailed free and post paid on application. Address 

DC: ^ITT, 33 Rose Street, BTcw York. 



OE WITT'S DRAWING-ROOM OPERETTAS. 



2^^ TO MUSICAL AMATEURS. ^^^J 

The number of Musical Amateurs, both ladies and gentlemen, is not only very 
iirjf, but 13 constantbj increasing, and very naturally, for there is no more re- 
fined and pleamiit nioJc of spending leisure hours than in singing and 2>laying the 
c'loice pvo.lactions of the best Co;nposers. Hitherto there has been an almost *otal 
i xk ofsuit-ai/le jneces adapted to an evening's entertainment in Parlors by Amateurs, 
i! i' course whole Operas, or even parts of Operas, requh-e orchestral accompaai- 
i; cuts and f\ill choruses to give them eflEect, and are therefore clearly unfit for 
Amateur pci-formance, while a succession of songs lacks the interest given by a 
plot and a contrast of characters. In this series (a list of which is- givei below) we 
have endeavored to supply tids want. Tlie best Music of jxypular Camjjosers is wed- 
ded to appropriate words, and the whole dovetailed into plots that are effective &a 
mere petite plays, but are rendered doubly interesting by the appropriate and beoU" 
lifiU Music, specially arranged for them. 



LIST OF DE WITT'S MUSICAL PLAYS. 

PRICE 15 CENTS EACH. 



GEAP YEAR— A Musical Dual- 
ity. By Alfred B. Sedgwick. Mu- 
sic selected and .idapted from Of- 
fenbach's celebrated Opera, " Gene- 
rieve dc Brabant."'' One Male, one 
Fcmule Character. 

THE TW'If SISTEES-Comic 

Operetta, in One Act. The Music 
sjleoted from the most popular Lum- 
bers in Lk Cocq'm celebrated Opera 
Bouffe, " GimHj Girojla," and the 
Libr-tti) writtca bv Alfked B. Sedg- 
wicic. Two Male, Two Female 
Ciaraaters. 

SOLD \1AT¥ AUT) GOT THE 

MONEY'.— Comic Operetta, in One 
Act. TiiJ Music composed and the 
Libretto written by Alfued B. Sedg- 
wick. Tliree Male, One Female 
Character. 

THE QUEEREST OOUETSHIP. 

— Co nic Operetta, in One Act. The 
Music anani^ed from Of'fenb.'VCH's 
cel'ibrated Op-'ra, "La Princesse de 
TreMzonde,"' and the Libretto writ- 
ten by Alfued B. SEDowicaj. One 
Male,"One Female Character. 



ESTRANGED— An Operetta, in 
One Act, The Musis arranged from 
VeudTs celebrated Opera, " 11 Tixro- 
atore." WL\d the libretto adapted by 
Alfred B. Sedgwick. Two Male, 
One Female Character. 

OIROUMSTAITCES ALTER 

CASES.— Comic Operetta, in One 
Act. The music comiKJsed and the 
Libretto written by Alfred B. Sedg- 
wick. One Male, One Female Char- 
acter. 

MY WALKING PEOTOGRAPtt 

— Musical Duality, in One Act. The 
Music arranged from Le Cocq's 
Opera, "Z« Fille de Madame Angot,^'* 
and the Libretto written by Aj f«b» 
B. Sedgwick. One Male, One Fe- 
male Character. 

A SINGLE MARRIED MAN- 

Comic Operetta, in One Act. The 
Music arransed from Offenbach's 
celebrated Opera Bouffe, " Madame 
V Archiduc,'''' and the Libretto writ- 
ten by Alpked B. Sf.dgwick. Six 
Male, Two Female Characters. 



HOLLY MORIARTY.-An Irish 
Musical Slietch, in One Act The 
Music composed and the Dialogue 
written by Alfred B. Sedgwick. 
On.' Male, one Female Character. 
J ,;Uable for t.ie Variety Stage. 

•: n\HG^ 0? THE HASH 

. •JUiiJ.^^I^E —A Comic Irish Musical 
iVicte 1 T;io Music compo.sed and 
(lie Libretto written by Joseph P 
.Skelly. Twi) Male, two Female 
qharactior HuitUbl«!for ttite Fi>rf«V 



GAMBRINUS, KING OF LAGER 

BEER.— A Musical Ethiopian Bur- 
lesque, in One Act. Music and Dia- 
logue by Frank Dumont. Eight 
Male, one Female Character. Suita- 
ble for the Ethiopian Stage. 

ArR'0.4Nn3 BLHEBEARD.-A 

Musical Ethiopian Burlesque, in One 
Act. Music and Dialogue by Frank 
Dumont. Fo'ir Male, fo-.ir Femal* 
Characters Suitable for tlie HiMo- 



m WITT'S ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DRAMA.— Continued. 



33. 

94. 
103. 

1. 
36. 

18. 

60. 

37. 

90. 
109. 

19. 
149. 
151. 

96. 
147. 

129. 



117. 

44. 

8. 

119. 

49. 
132. 
145. 

22. 

27. 
125. 

30. 
114. 

76. 
91. 
87, 



92. 
9. 

87. 

65. 

66. 
115. 

14. 
105. 

45. 

55. 



M. F. 

Jealous Husband, slcetch 2 1 

JuUua the Suoozer. builosque, 3 sc. 6 1 
Katnua's Little Game, Uutuli act, 

1 scoue 1 1 

Last of the Mohicaus, sketch 3 1 

Laughing Gas, sketch, 1 scene 6 1 

Live Injun, sketch, 4 scenes 4 (1 

Lost Will, sketch 4 

Lucky Job, farce, 2 scenes 3 2 

Lun.atic (The), farce, 1 scene 3 

Making a Hit, farce, 2 scenes 4 

Malicious Trespass, sketch, 1 scene. 3 
'Meriky, Ethiopian farce, 1 scene... 3 1 
Micky Free, Irish sketch, 1 scene.. 5 
Midnight Intruder, farce, 1 scene . 6 1 
Milliner's Shop (The), Ethiopian 

sketch, 1 scene 2 2 

Moko Marionettes, Ethiopian eccen- 

tiicity, 2 scenes i 5 

Molly " Moriarty, Irish musical 

sketch, 1 scene 1 1 

Motor Bellows, comedy, 1 act 4 

JNIusical Servant, sketch. 1 scene 3 

Mutton Trial, sketch, 2 scenes .... 4 
MyWife'sVisitors, comic drama, Isc. 6 1 
Night in a Strange Hotel, sketch, Isc. 2 
Noble Savage, Ethi'n sketch, 1 sc. .. 4 
No Pay No Cure, Ethi'n sketch, 1 6C. 5 
Obeving Orders, sketch, 1 scene.... 2 1 

100th Ni 4ht of Hamlet, sketch 7 1 

Oh, Husii ! operatic olio 4 1 

One Night in a Bar Room, sketch.. 7 
One Night in a Medical College, 

Ethiopian sketch, 1 scene 7 1 

One, Two, Three, sketch, 1 scene.. 7 
Painter's Apprentice, farce, 1 scene. 5 
Pete and the Peddler, Negro and 

Irish sketch, 1 scene 2 1 

Pleasant Companions, Ethiopian 

sketch, 1 s(-eu3 5 1 

Polar Bear (The), farce, 1 scene. ... 4 1 

Policy Players, sketch, 1 scene 7 

Pompey's Patients, interlude, 2 sc. 6 
Porter's Tronbles, sketch, 1 scene. . 6 1 

Port Wine vs. Jealousy, sketch .2 1 

Private Boarding, comedy, 1 scene. 2 3 

Recruiting Office, sketch, 1 act 5 

Rehearsal (The), Irish farce, 2 sc... 3 1 
Remittance from Home.sketch. 1 sc. 6 
Rigging a Purchase, sketch, 1 sc. . . 3 



81. 
26. 
138. 

15. 
59. 
21. 

80. 

84. 
38. 
74. 
46. 
69. 
56. 
72. 
13. 
10. 
7, 
121 

47 

51 

100 

102 

34 



Rival Artists, sketch, 1 scene 4 

Rival Tenants, sketch 4 

Rival Barbers' Shops (The). Ethio- 

l)ian farce, 1 scene 6 

Sam's Courtship, farce, 1 act 2 

Sausage Makers, sketch, 2 scenes . . 5 

Scampini, pantomime, 2 scenes 3 

Scenes on the Mississippi, sketch, 

2 scenes 6 

Serenade (The), sketch, 2 scenes.. . . 7 
Siamese Twins, sketch, 2 scenes. . . . 5 

Sleep Walker, sketch, 2 scenes 3 

Slijipery Duy, sketch, 1 scene 6 

Squire lor a Day, sketch 5 

Stage-struck Couple, interlude, 1 sc. 2 

Stranger, burlesque, 1 scene 1 

Streets of New York, sketch, 1 so. . . 6 
Storming the Fort, sketch, 1 scene. 5 

. Stupid Servant, sketch, 1 scene 2 

. Stocks Up ! Stocks Down ! Negro ' 

duologue, 1 scene 2 

. Take It, Don't Take It, sketch, 1 sc. 2 

. Them Papers, sketch, 1 scene 3 

. Three Chiefs (The), sketch, 1 scene. 6 

. Three A. M., sketch, 2 scenes 3 

. Three Strings to one Bow, sketch, 

1 scene 4 

. Ticket Taker, Ethi'n farce, 1 scene. 3 

Tricks, sketch 5 

Two Awfuls (The), sketch, 1 scene.. 5 

Two Black Roses, sketch 4 

Uncle Eph's Dream, sketch, 2 sc. . . 3 
Unlimited Cheek, sketch. 1 scene.. 4 
Vinegar Bitters, sketch, 1 scene .... 6 
Wake up. William Henry, sketch. . . 3 
Wanted, a Nurse, sketch, 1 scene... 4 
Weston, the Walkist, Dutch sketch, 

1 scene 7 

What shall I Take? sketch, 1 scene. 7 
Who Died First? sketch, 1 scene... 3 

Who's the Actor? farce, 1 scene 4 

Whose Baby is it ? Ethiopian sketch, 

1 scene 2 

"Wonderful Telephone (The), Ethio- 
pian sketch, 1 scene 4 

Wrong Woman in the Right Place, 

sketch. 2 scenes 2 

Young Scamp, sketch, 1 scene.. ... 3 
Zacharias' Funeral, farce, 1 scene. . 5 



A COMPLETE DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUE OF DE WITT'S ACT- 
'ING PLAYS AND DE WITT'S ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DRAMAS, 
containing Plot, Costume, Scenery. Time of Representation, and all other informa- 
tion, mailed free and post paid on application. Address 



DE WITT, Publisher, 

33 Rose Street, IVcw York. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 




Ai IiflisnensalilB Bool for Anatonrs, 



HOW TO HAM&E 
AMATEtJH THEATBICALS. 



Being plain instructions for construction and arrangement of Stage, 
making Scenery, getting up Costumes, "■Making Up" to represent 
different ages and characters, and how to produce stage Illusions and 
Effects. Also hints for the management of Amateur Dramatic Clubs, 
and a list of pieces suitable for Drawing Room Performances. Hand- 
somely illustrated with Colored Plates. 

Price, 25 Cents. 



DE WITT'S SELECTIONS 

For. 

AMATEOR Al PARLOR THEATRICALS. 

Nos. 1, 2, 3 4fe 4. 

Being choice selections from the very best Dramas, Comedies and 
Farces. Specially adapted for presentation by Amateurs, and for 
Parlor and Drawing Room Entertainments. 

Each numher, 25 Cents. 

PANTOMIME PLAY , 

"HUMPTY DUMPTY." 

The celebrated Pantomime, as originally played for 1,000 nights by the 
late Geokge L. Vox. Arranged by Jolin Denier, Esq. Eight male, 
four female characters. 

Price, 25 Cents. 



